Saturday, March 19, 2011

The other side of the wall

Two weeks from today I'll be moving into a tiny house built for one.  I'll be leaving behind the dream house we bought together a scant five months ago, the house we bought to make room for the next phase of our life.  I'll be leaving one dog, our boy, and taking my little furry funny girl with me.  I watch them laying side by side, twirled together in an old blanket on the floor, and my heart just aches remembering the days when I used to fret like a nervous mother, wondering if two and half year old Brutus would ever warm to ten week old, three-pound, puppy teeth wielding Daphne... and now they are the best of friends, brother and sister.

The title of this post is borrowed from an episode of Sex & The City. The one where Carrie and Aiden decide that their relationship has reached its end and Aiden spends their last night sleeping on the floor of the apartment across the hall.  Carrie goes to join him and in the closing monologue she says it was the only night they spent on the other side of the wall.    

That is where we are, where we have been for five months, though neither of us had any idea until recently.  I'm going to wake up tomorrow.. in two weeks.. and this time will be over.  I still have hope that after this trial we may find ourselves in a new and better place, but right now every day feels like the last long night.

This blog will not become a diary of my separation, but lately that is the origin of almost every thought and the only words I can string together are to describe the emotion and the changes that it brings.  I hope you can bear with me as I not so steadily attempt to cross over.

Also, I can not leave this entry without acknowledgement of the devastation in Japan.  I have a home to go to, no loved ones lost forever, my world's still here, just altered.  To all our brothers and sisters on an island that suddenly seems not so far away, all my love to you.


  1. How very sad. May you find peace.

  2. I hope you know how strong you are, it is there in your lines. I wish you well and hugs from me. :-(
    I think writing is sometimes the best way to get rid of energy and emotions we cannot articulate otherwise. I hope you blog does that for you.