Friday, June 8, 2012

Maxi, Stockholm-style

I have a thing about Kohl's. Mainly, that I hate it. I know it's popular among the bargain hunter set and as a self-proclaimed finder of the deal I should embrace its perpetually disheveled racks and celebrity monikered lines, but oh mah gad... that store kills me. Nothing ever really fits me, the fact that there's always 30/40/50% off everything makes me feel like I'm never actually getting a deal, and the cult following behind Kohl's cash is just a little too purple kool aid for my tastes. But sometimes I get a bag of well meaning purchases from my mama and maaaybe some of it turns in to a merchandise credit... sometimes.

So tonight I decided to face my nemesis in search of a new duvet cover and maybe a set of sheets for our bed. In search of serenity, I was.

Well, this is where the story gets humbling friends. There's no clever way around it really... I got past the "what parent allows their daughter to wear that?!" junior's department, the Lexus crossover driver populated Dana Buchman section, and even the mish-mash of jewelry, Simply Vera bags, and Jennifer Lopez fragrances... I could see the wall of linens ahead, but then out of the corner of my eye I spotted this...

Maxi dress, clean lines with a subtle suggestion of chevron, flattering racerback neckline, and if I dared to dream, it was a non-maternity dress that might just fit over my very third trimester maternity belly. There was a fleeting moment of doubt, some nervous lip tugging, and then I grabbed it in all four available sizes and headed for the fitting room.

This is what happened...

Yes, I tried it on with sunglasses. I was wearing zero eye makeup and I don't trust my un-enhanced reflection in dressing room lighting. 

Yes, I'm also making a Rachel Zoe face. I admit it! I make celebrity stylist duck face when I try on clothes. I'm ashamed, alright?!

But back to happy times.. this dress is a dream. It drapes beautifully, doesn't hug anything it shouldn't, has a sexy neckline and "shoulder silhouette" yet still works with a big girl bra, and comes up high enough under the arms to keep the "hey baby!" side boob under wraps.

And... I'm wearing a small. A SMALL! This from the girl who was a solid 6 pre-pregnancy and whose hips and thighs have plumped up to a healthy 8 post.

There I am folks. Just another deprogrammed Goldie Hawn to a scheming Kurt Russell, dressing up in another woman's clothes, giving myself over to my captor.

Best 40% off I ever spent... just please don't tell my mom.


  1. You look so adorable...seriously!

  2. you are totally rocking that rachel zoe "look". absolutely in love with that maxi dress!
    xo TJ

  3. ok, this dress is so cute on you!! i juuuust might have to venture into the dreaded "kohls" myself..